Sunday, April 23, 2017

Strong Mental Health

How to be Mentally Strong? 

Ami Morin is a therapist and has written the bestseller "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do". I haven't read the book but I have heard her tedx talk. Here is the guidance by Amy Morin and my notes on them.

 Believe in yourself

  • We usually have certain beliefs about ourselves that are developed during our childhood. Like I am lazy to finish any task, I am an angry person, I am only good to people for certain amount of time etc. These are the statements usually by my key person, my guardian or my mom. I do feel offended when she says so but I accept it like a blind faith.
  • If I try to say good things about myself and prove with incidences I can regain faith in my efforts, in myself. That will make me HAPPY.
  • Daily Gratification is a good habit I will cultivate. It will surely make me feel special and thankful for what i have.
  • Achieving my goals will elevate my faith in myself.

Dont Compare yourself

  • We find ourselves comparing with our friends and acquaintances on social media sites like Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp. Although we stalk them just so that we know what we are missing on. This leads to grief in the end.
  • Our only comparison should be ourself. I can make a journal of my improvement and graph my goals. This will definitely make me Happy.
  • In the end nobody is more important than ME. Self Love is must for social wellbeing.

Don't Expect From Others

  • When we say that the world isn't fair, we mean we were not ready for the situation. But Life is uncertain. Anything can happen anytime. A death, a calamity, an illness, a sudden loss… We can’t be prepared for everything but we can certainly say “This Too Shall Pass”. 
  • The ultimate truth is that everything is cured by time. Only not letting it go delays the cure. Cursing the world or the person or the situation would worsen the situation. 
  • Self Pity would blind us and we won't be able to come out of the sorrow.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

String art

For the love and excitement of having the first baby every mother tries making something memorable.. I am sharing mine.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

One thing that every Gujju Guy should try

It was our society's flag hoisting event where I had a chance to have a short chat with one of my neighbor.
She is young, Gujarati, working professional with Infosys pune. She was tired of her frequent trips from Pune to Mumbai and was searching job in Mumbai now. Staying as PG with 3 other girls, cooking and cleaning and having the freedom that every young heart desires after graduation was now boredom to her. This made me realize a few things.

My husband had been staying away from home before marriage while he was working with Wipro. Due to his PG experience, I benefit a lot now.

He doesn't mind helping me in household chores. He has an open mind to my thoughts and respects my work as a stay home mother. He is foody but not picky about food and taste. This is something every Gujarati housewife dreams of.

Everyone staying away from home have experienced those days when they miss their mom after the hard day at work. No one to wash, fold and iron your clothes. Lot of sharing and assistance to other fellow mates. Lot of freedom and time to develop ones own opinion whereas gujju parents usually tend to raise kids by enforcing thoughts.

Although this may not apply to all gujju families but all traditional orthodox families where male child is pampered.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

My first Delivery Experience

It started from 6:30-7 in the evening on 15th July. I experienced typical pain for every minute in an interval of hour. I thought it might be some other pain as my EDD was on 22nd. The pain grew n I had to call hubby home but he came on his regular time. I requested him to stay beside me so that I feel secure, which he did. I tried sleeping but then started to get cramps in my lower body. I also did vomiting n went to washroom for more than 8 times. That day was chaturdashi so I ate before sunset. I had taken Anemia of caster oil in the morning under the guidance of an Ayurvedic Doc which made the labour active.
I got admitted by 2:15. Till morning the doctor kept inspecting and gave me pain injections because he felt the pain was less. My MIL slept in the same room and made me more uncomfortable with her regular remarks that still I am not having that kind of pain that can deliver a baby. I was hoping to pass the night as soon as possible so that my hubby could come back and I have a secure mind. No males were allowed in the hospital during night time as per the hospital rules.

It was 6:30 in the morning and he came with my mom. The doc's comments were my dilation was not improving in terms of circumference. I bared the pain till 12: 30 in the noon and was in active labour by then. So the doc shifted me to the labour room. The doc cut burst my water bag and I went through embarrassing painful situation where my body was examined like a rat in lab every hour.
16th july at 2:30 I was dilated to 6-7 cm and the doc wanted to decide then whether to go for a c-section or forceps. He said 3hrs is enough waiting time for dilation yet baby was not shifting down and I wasn't dilated properly.  He asked me n my family to go for epidural so that my labour is painless but my MIL and hubby didn't understand what I was going through. Hubby was like He has consulted a doc who said no for epidural. My MIL said "no... we need a normal delivery only". I knew she didn't even understand the meaning of painless. My body had bared immense pain for the past 14 hours yet hubby pushed for trying more, so that the end is happy.

Eventually my body gave up. I was in OT, half asleep at 2:45, people expecting miracle and me expecting peace... With c -section I delivered my first child. Saw his silhouette in a dull glance n went through chopping scissors , pricking needles,  n stitching for another unknown unconscious time. When I was back I felt a jerk on my back, heavy tummy, tied with syringe in both the hands. Oxygen mask on my face. Doc pressing my tummy so hard to see if I bleed from my privates. Few of my close family members sitting around with me in my first class hospital room.

When I gained my conscious back, I saw hubby coming closer and asking me how was feeling, whether I saw our baby..
My SIL bringing my baby. Me n my baby looking into each others eyes. He hardly opened his eyes but when he did he stared at his mom. I was so happy that I forgot all the pain n agony. His innocence n staring peaceful face is the reason I spent next night in peace

Friday, September 12, 2014

Bhartiya sanskruti (Indian culture) a blessing : Dressing

Dhoti & Khes was worn by men since ages, Women wore Sarees. Why???

Here are the benefits:
  • One size fits all, even if you loose or gain weight. Our ancestors taught us to have a saving habit rather than consuming habits of westerners. 
  • Very efficient upcycle material.
  • Comfortable during internal waste discharge. 
  • Not only is the dhoti comfortable to wear but also to carry.
  • It is made of unstitch cloth hence economical and light weight.
  • There is a psychological backing to wearing “akhand” or whole garment. It gives a feeling of completion. I was asked to wear a single woven sari during my marriage when I wanted to wear a designer sari so badly. My mom said designer saris are made by stitching multiple patches of clothes, do u want your married life to be patchy? I know, it would sound superstitious but I did it just to be sure. 
  • It is made of cotton or silk. Cotton is the best material for climatic conditions in India. Even today doctors advice to dress infants in cotton nappy(Langot) as the synthetic ones cause rashes. 
  • Silk clothes have a tendency not to let the negative energy seep in, keeps one’s aura intact. 
  • One tradition which is still active is to gift silk khes as a sign of gratitude in presence of an audience. 
  • Sarees worn in gujarati style, covers women's body in such a way that enhances her personality without showing off her assets. In my opinion a women showing off her skin is looked up as an object and a lady who doesnt wish to show off her personal parts in public is respected. 

Friday, March 14, 2014

Paisa Vasool Films

This year, Bollywood has surprised me with its “hatke genre”. It all started with Hasee toh phasee, then shaadi ke side effects and now Queen. Thank you Bollywood for gifting me out of the box entertainment on my birth month.

Paisa Vasool
I have always been a fan of realistic films. I love motivational movies like Iqbal, Wake up sid, Kai Po Che, English Winglish, I am Kalam, Pursuit of happiness, Harishchandra chi factory and if it has a touch of 'based on true incidence', it is my cheery on the cake. I loved Ratatouille, Kunfu Panda and the bucket list also… makes me believe in me again and again.

I am so happy that Bollywood has moved on for time being from its Govinda style and South copy Action movies. Although there is still a huge audience for such ‘dont apply logic’ movies and bring a lot of money to the producers. I pray, the censor board declares a particular month for nonsense movie so we are spared for the rest of year.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

I Salute The Mother In You

I have been traveling through BEST bus since a month now. Observing passengers especially ladies. I prefer the reserved seat for ladies. I usually get to sit immediately there. 

A lady in burkha sat beside me with her 7months boy. I started.
Me: "Does he have teeth yet?"
She was very welcoming and showed me his tiny milky teeth. He was cute, enjoying that he was travelling.
Me: "Is he your first child?"
She said, “No its my third, I have other two girls. I just dropped them to school and am returning from there.”
It is a personal opinion on how many kids a couple wants to have but what amazes me is how a mother takes care of as many kids she has with all the love and attention.

Today while at the bus stop for boarding my ride i meet a lady. She lost her husband at much early age and had two kids to take care. she started her career at 30 and didn’t look back. Its cool how she manages her home and work together with kids. No personal life! I salute the mother in her too.

I am married and now I know how much fun it is to go back to mom's home and spend time with her. My dad is retired but mom is never going to be. When I go to stay with her, she still gets up early morning and cooks a meal for me so i can enjoy it in the noons at office. She probably will never retire. I will be a mother in future someday. I wonder how will I get the strength, dedication for my kids and love them unconditionally?